(ORDO NEWS) — Can you imagine waking up in a world without toilet paper? What would you use? Can you imagine what people used before toilet paper became so ubiquitous?
Toilet paper is one of the most essential modern luxuries that people take for granted, so let’s take a look at how our ancestors handled the messy business of wiping before the advent of good old toilet paper.
It turns out that different societies have dealt with this problem in different ways, so place in history matters almost as much as time.
Before the advent of toilet paper, the Romans used poop sticks.
As a substitute for toilet paper, the Romans used “tersorium” – a sponge attached to a long stick.
Often they would leave them submerged in salt water or vinegar, taking them out to do their “things” and then kindly leaving them in the solution for the next user.
Their favorite form of public toilets was long marble benches with holes cut out at regular intervals so that one could comfortably chat with neighbors while defecation.
In addition, these public toilets were gender neutral, so people of all ages and genders could sit together on a bench, which allowed all members of society to unite and equalize.
The poorer Romans had to make do with earthenware shards, ideally without sharp edges, to avoid accidents.
Believe it or not, this Roman tactic is probably the most hygienic on our list (especially poop sticks in a jar of vinegar).
Is toilet paper hard to make? Many people wipe themselves with water!
Among poorer people around the world, using only water and a hand is a tried and true way of wiping your ass.
In particular, running water in rivers and streams was widely used to remove excrement and provide an ample supply of water for later handwashing.
In parts of Africa and the Middle East, there are still ancient forms of toiletry known as “squatting toilets” that work exactly as you’d expect.
As the name suggests, instead of a seat, you literally “squat” over some hole in the ground and relieve yourself by using a handy bowl of water to wash your hands after you’re done.
Many ancient cultures often wiped themselves with only water and the left hand, which is known to have given us the modern word “sinister”, which used to be directly translated as “left”.
They just made sure to thoroughly wash their hand afterwards and avoid taking food (or even saying hello to people!) with their left hand!
Americans used corn on the cob to cleanse!
Before toilet paper became widely used in the 1800s, colonial and Native Americans used corn on the cob instead of toilet paper.
While there is evidence that other organic materials such as moss, leaves, and bark were sometimes used for cleaning, it appears that there was something remarkable about the corncobs.
Reasons for preferring corncobs include that they were a readily available resource and how efficient they were at the task at hand, as they could be moved in one direction or rotated at one point.
They were so convenient and effective that even after toilet paper became readily available, many Americans abandoned their trusty corn cobs!
The ancient Greeks used shards of pottery called “pessoi” to cleanse themselves after a bowel movement.
And as an insult, they wrote the names of people to be ostracized on pottery ostrak shards chosen for wiping their asses! (Gary Todd / CC0)
The Greeks used ceramic shards for “revenge-wipe-insult”!
The ancient Greeks used shards of pottery called “pessa” to cleanse themselves after going to the toilet, but added a particularly cruel twist to the practice.
When a community wanted to get rid of a particularly unloved or unpleasant person, they would write their name on a ceramic shard called an ostraca (hence the term ostracism was born).
A similar practice involved the use of sea shells instead of pottery fragments.
Unfortunately, this practice is one of the least hygienic, and the abrasive nature of these ceramic shards often led to unpleasant side effects such as severe skin irritation or even hemorrhoids.
The Inuit used snow as toilet paper!
The Inuit living in the Arctic Circle are famous for trusting their hygiene to one of the most accessible resources – snow.
This cold method is actually considered relatively hygienic and apparently especially refreshing.
Until now, this trick is used as a last resort by those who are “call of nature” on a hike or a walk, and it is worth remembering in case of a cold day in the future.
In Japan and China – Wooden or bamboo sticks!
The ancient Japanese used a wooden stick or a piece of bamboo called “chuugi”, sometimes wrapped in cloth, to wash the outside and inside.
This method was also used by the Chinese until, surprise surprise, they invented toilet paper around the 6th century AD. In fact, such a “stick method” was quite common throughout the world in ancient times.
Vikings wiped their asses with wool or rope!
On land, the Vikings most often used sheep’s wool instead of toilet paper.
However, like most other ancient sailors, at sea they went directly to the ocean and used pieces of rope, usually immersed in water, to wipe their asses.
They then lowered the rope back into the ocean and let the movement of the ship and the sea do the disinfection so it was ready for the next person.
Of all the methods described, can you guess which one is the top favorite that will not only make a comeback, but also replace toilet paper? I’ll give you time to guess…the answer…good old H2O!
Sales of modern bidets have skyrocketed in recent years, and while they still require toilet paper to dry (although some do come with a hairdryer as drying attachments), the amount of toilet paper used is considerably less.
After all, water is perfect for cleaning, and so are bidet heads. Water methods require fewer natural resources and provide superior purity, so perhaps the ancients were right about something!
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