(ORDO NEWS) — In his spare time, Mark Twain liked to write rebuttals about his death in newspapers, words like “Rumors of my death are greatly exaggerated.”
In the end, he got all the newspaper editors, and they began to attribute to this message “Sorry!”
Check out the flamboyant, wise, and ironic statements by Mark Twain about different aspects of our lives.
The only way to stay healthy is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you don’t like.
Good friends, good books, and a sleeping conscience are the ideal life.
You can’t rely on your eyes if your imagination is out of focus.
Pessimism is just the word the faint of heart refers to wisdom.
To be happy, you have to live in your own paradise! Did you really think that one and the same paradise can satisfy all people without exception?
As soon as you give your word that you will not do something, you will certainly want to.
Summer is a time of the year when it is very hot, so it was very cold to do things that we do in winter.
There is nothing more annoying than a good example.
It is great that America was discovered, but it would be much more wonderful if Columbus sailed by.
Someone who doesn’t read good books has no advantage over someone who can’t read.
Those who do not know where they are going will be very surprised to find themselves in the wrong place.
Wrinkles should only indicate places where smiles used to be!
Thousands of geniuses live and die unknown – either unrecognized by others, or unrecognized by themselves.
The right to stupidity is one of the guarantees of the free development of the individual.
Classics are what everyone considers it necessary to read and no one reads.
The worst loneliness is when a person is uncomfortable with himself.
It was a glorious and original idea to create a man. But to create a sheep after that was to repeat itself.
If all people thought the same way, then no one would play at the races.
Once in a lifetime, fortune knocks at the door of every person, but at this time a person often sits in the nearest pub and does not hear any knocking.
At 50 people can be a donkey without being an optimist, but they can no longer be an optimist without being a donkey.
We like people who boldly tell us what they think, provided that they think the same way as we do.
“Children and fools always tell the truth,” says the old wisdom. The conclusion is clear: adults and wise people never tell the truth.
April 1 is a day that reminds us of who we are for the rest of the 364 days.
There is no more pathetic sight than a man explaining his joke.
Often the surest way to mislead a person is to tell him the truth.
To be good is so wearing down a person!
I was praised a great many times, and I was always embarrassed; I felt every time that there was more to say.
When my wife and I disagree, we usually do what she wants. The wife calls it a compromise.
When I was 14, my father was so stupid that I could hardly bear him; but when I turned 21, I was amazed how much this old man had grown wiser in the last 7 years.
Quitting smoking is easy. I’ve thrown a hundred times myself.
I have never allowed school to interfere with my education.
It is better to be silent and seem like a fool than to speak up and dispel all doubts.
If you need money, go to strangers; if you need advice, go to your friends; and if you don’t need anything, go to your relatives.
Make it a goal to do things you don’t like every day. This golden rule will help you do your duty without disgust.
If you notice that you are on the side of the majority, this is a sure sign that it is time to change.
Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can put off until the day after tomorrow.
When in doubt, speak the truth.
When you are angry, count to four; when very angry – swear!
Truth should be served the way a coat is served, not thrown in the face like a wet towel.
It takes over three weeks to prepare a good offhand speech.
Always do the right thing. It will please some people and surprise everyone else.
Buy land – no one else produces it.
Never argue with idiots. You will descend to their level, where they will crush you with their experience.
Truth is the most precious thing we have. Let’s save it.
Let us live in such a way that even the undertaker will regret us when we die.
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