How to talk to a child in difficult situations

(ORDO NEWS) — In a situation of uncertainty, the child especially needs security and support. Even if something happens in the world around, the child continues to be influenced most of all by what the parents do or say.

Children are sensitive to the emotions of adults, they hear conversations, catch anxiety and tension in their voices, facial expressions, see and feel how the mood of their parents changes.

How to support a child in times of anxiety and uncertainty

1. Tell the child the information that relates directly to his personality and changes in his usual life.

Any changes that affect it must be announced. External events, disturbing thoughts of parents about the unborn child are not needed. For example, if you feel that you have now lost your calm, cry often, have become irritated a lot, explain this to your child.

Say that you are now angry a lot, because you are worried about some plans and deeds. Tell them that there are adult things that worry you, but you will try to solve them. Note that these worries do not apply to the child.

2. Emphasis must be placed on the feelings and experiences of the child.

Do not discount tears, whims, whining and fear. On the contrary, let your daughter or son express them. Contain the child’s feelings.

Containerization is the absorption of emotions and help in experiencing them: you can be with the child, talk about his experiences, share feelings.

A child needs parents as a support. Children react to any changes in the emotional field of adults – changes in their behavior.

They may move more, make noise, scream, look agitated and uncontrollable, or, conversely, calm down, try to retire, coping with their fears and anxieties.

Be sympathetic to changes. Don’t be quick to judge such behavior as disobedience. Think about what the child is reacting to and trying to communicate to you.

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3. Children immediately notice and are frightened when one of the family members begins to “leave” in their emotions and feelings, loses control over them

Be sure to talk to your child and explain why this is happening. Start with the child’s feelings, and then voice your feelings.

Transmit the idea that there will always be those in the family who can support him, protect him, share his feelings; there will be those with whom it is safe.

After all, for a child, safety is the opportunity to be himself and experience all his feelings next to his parents.

4. Keep your daily routine

Daily rituals and routines create predictability, which means they significantly reduce anxiety levels and promote a sense of security.

5. Do not overload the child with information, especially of a negative nature.

Answer specific questions – extra information will only increase anxiety. Ask your child to discuss with you everything that worries him.

6. Do not use the phrases “something might happen to me” or “I might not be” in a conversation with a child.

The child does not need this information. It is important to focus on the fact that in his life there are you and other loved ones who will take care of him.

7. Do not “distract” the child from experiencing anxiety and tension with the help of cartoons and gadgets

This leads to the fact that the child only accumulates emotional and bodily excitement, which he has nowhere to put when watching cartoons or while playing.

Excitation remains, having no bodily and emotional outlet. So, the feelings of the child are only blocked, not lived through and do not come out.

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How to help your child express anxiety and worries

  • Walk and move a lot, play sports. More active life in nature.
  • “Live” the state of fear and anxiety through creativity: drawing, modeling.
  • Talk and answer questions the child asks.
  • Organize household chores.

What is not recommended

  • Devalue the child’s feelings.
  • Ignore the child’s tears.
  • Be annoyed when a child asks questions that concern him.
  • Allow uncontrolled and unlimited viewing of TV and Internet channels.
  • Leave the TV running in the background.
  • Arguing, discussing adult issues in front of a child.


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